Solar Eclipse
by PinkRULES453
Summary: My version of Eclipse. Edward has refused to let Bella see Jacob, but Bella will stop at nothing to defy this rule. In the end...who will she choose? Rated M for Language/Lemons!
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

_Bella's P.O.V._

Ever since that day in the forest with Edward and Jacob, I had been torn. I was torn between making Edward happy and doing my damndest to see my best friend again. I tried so hard to convince myself that just having Edward back was enough, but unfortunately it just wasn't true. The fact was that I would always be unhappy without Jacob in my life.

No one should have to give up their best friend, right? It just wasn't natural. It certainly made it extra complicated, thought, when your fiancé and your best friend were sworn enemies. It definitely put me in an awkward place.

"I just don't think it is safe." Edward had said for the millionth time, in response to my request to go to La Push and see Jake. Edward was beginning to sound like a broken record.

"I will not be in danger." I protested, raising my voice.

"You have witnessed it, yourself, how volatile he is, Bella. I cannot willingly permit you to put yourself in danger in that way."

I groaned and folded my arms over my chest, "I'm positive that he views me being with _you_ in the same manner."

Edward's mouth was turned out in a grim line, but he nodded his head, "I'm sure that he does, and he is probably right."

"So, why is alright for me to put myself in danger to be with you, but not him?"

Edward's answer was matter-of-fact and one of the stupidest responses I'd ever heard, "Because I'm selfish."

I was so tired of the bickering over this very situation. It seemed as though Edward and I argued about this day after day. I didn't think I was asking too much to want to see Jacob, but clearly Edward thought there to be some horrible reason why I shouldn't. Despite his reservations he was never able to give me a good enough reason against it.

"I'm getting tired of this same song and dance, Edward. He's my best friend!"

Edward scoffed, "Let me be your best friend, Bella. I can do that for you."

My face softened, "Edward, you have my heart, you are my forever and I will never want anyone as much as I want you, but I still need my friend."

Edward growled, "We're not having this discussion again tonight."

I folded my arms again, pouting. It was always the same story with the same ending, why should I suddenly expect different results?

"Besides, you need to get some sleep; you have a busy day tomorrow." Edward bent his head down to place a gentle kiss on my forehead, breaking my resolve.

That was most definitely the case, too. I groaned inwardly at the thought of Alice and I shopping for wedding decorations. I had to hold in the gag that was threatening to escape; I didn't want Edward to get that look on his face like he always did when I complained about the wedding. For some dumb reason he thought my aversion to weddings was a direct reflection of my lack of commitment for him. How could that be anymore untrue; after all I was going to become a vampire so that I could spend eternity with him? How much more commitment did he need?

I forced a smile on to my face in an effort to avoid another negative conversation that I wasn't in the mood to have. I was still mad about not being able to see Jake and I didn't need to get started on my ant-marriage kick too. "You're right, I should sleep."

He smiled too, "Good, then we are finally in agreement about something."

I almost laughed, he just looked so hopeful. His smile was always able to remove me from any bad mood that I could be in. There was nothing in the entire world like Edward's beautiful smile.

He bent down again to kiss me, this time he aimed for my lips. I was a willing participant in this operation, opening my mouth a little bit, begging for a deeper kiss. He sighed and twisted his fingers into my hair, giving in to my willingness for a few short seconds. Then he pulled himself away from me and looked at my delirious face. I loved that feeling that I always got when he touched me, but I thought that I must look like a blooming idiot; what with my glazed over eyes and goofy grin on my face. I almost grimaced thinking about it, but then I thought better of it. I didn't want Edward to think that I was displeased with his kiss.

"Goodnight my love, sleep tight." He slid into bed beside me and tucked me into the blankets, protecting me from the cold of his body. He knew I didn't care if I was cold as long as he was close to me, but he always hated the thought of me freezing while I slept.

As I lay there, comfortable and safe in my lover's arms, I couldn't help but think of Jacob again. I thought about how unhappy he must have been since we last saw each other. Things were awful difficult on him; first he is just a normal human teenager who has a best friend who he gets to see almost every day, then he discovers that he has the werewolf gene and it changes everything he thought he knew about himself, and then he loses his best friend to the thing he was born to hate; his immortal enemy. It hardly seemed fair that good people like Jacob could have to go through all of this in such a short period of time. It bothered me so much that I grew increasingly more and more upset until I felt my eyelids grow heavier and the darkness overcome me.

I woke the next morning to a beautiful sunny day. There was just something about the sun to put you in a completely wonderful mood. I smiled and stretched out my arms, welcoming the day. It took me a few minutes before I remembered my horrific schedule for the day. Ugh! I did not want to go traipsing off to ridiculously expensive stores to look at doilies and wedding cake toppers.

I groaned and threw my legs over the side of my bed, reluctantly getting out of my warm, comfortable paradise. I looked at the clock on my nightstand and realized that I only had an hour until Alice would be there to pick me up for our wonderful adventure.

I grabbed my bathrobe and headed into the bathroom; glad that Charlie had already left for the station and I didn't have to fight with him. Charlie still hadn't gotten over the whole ridiculous thing with the motorcycle. And that was all on top of the fact that I had ran off to Italy for three days without him knowing where I was and that I was safe. Maybe that hadn't been the most considerate thing I could have done, but what other option did I have? I couldn't exactly take any extra time preparing a detailed description of our travels, as it was I was almost too late to stop Edward from killing himself.

I shivered at the thought of Edward's body being ripped apart by that horrible Volturi. Who did those jerks think they were anyway? I huffed and it came out more like a sob. I now grasped the concept that Edward loved me, but why in the world would he have wanted to kill himself over me…it seemed so completely preposterous and wasteful; Edward was entirely too precious to end his life like that. Not even I had tried to kill myself after he had left me broken and alone. Maybe that meant that he loved me more than I loved him….could that be true? I didn't much care for the thought of that; there was no way I was even close to deserving of his love, I should definitely be the one with the surpassing love. It ripped my heart apart at the seams to think that I didn't love him as much as he loved me; it was just further proof of how faulty humans were. I wouldn't ever truly be able to love with everything I was until I was perfect like him.

I sighed, why did he want to marry me so much? I was just so faulty….so completely human. There was no way that I could compete with the beauty, grace and perfection of a vampire. It sickened me to think of the two of us walking down the aisle; him with his angelic grace and me looking hideous and tripping over my own feet. What a graceful princess I should make on what was supposed to be the happiest day of my life.

Maybe there really was something completely wrong with me? What if I was even faultier than other humans? Most human women got excited at the idea of marrying the man they loved and getting dolled up in a beautiful, expensive gown….but not me. The thought of pearls and lace made me want to vomit.

With all the time I devoted to dread and feeling sorry for myself, I had to rush to finish getting myself ready and eating my breakfast before Alice showed up to take me to my doom. I realized that I needed to work on my mood, so that Alice didn't want to slap me upside the head while she did everything she could to give me the dream wedding that any sane, normal girl would want. Oh, why couldn't I just be normal? Why couldn't I be girly and giddy at the thought of all the attention I would be receiving? Why couldn't I at least be even a slight bit horrified at the thought of monsters being real and me being in the center of it all? Yes…there was certainly something wrong with me.

"Bella? Bella, are you almost ready?" Alice rapped on the door.

"Come in, Alice." I yelled back, putting my dirty dishes into the sink and rinsing them out.

She opened the door and smiled as she walked in. "Are you ready for some girl bonding time?"

I almost gagged, but forced a smile anyway, "Sure. Where are we going?"

"I thought we'd start in Port Angeles and see if we have any luck there. If that doesn't work out then we'll just have to see what happens." She pulled the hood down off her head and smiled at me.

I raised my eyebrows; I did not like the sound of that. "Charlie told me to stay close to home and I don't really want to make him angrier at me than he already is. Frankly I'm lucky that I am actually able to go out at all."

She smiled at me, "I know all about Charlie's terms, he and I went over it all yesterday."

I nodded, "You're just lucky he likes you."

She laughed, "I guess I am, otherwise I would just have to kidnap you." She linked her arm through mine and led me out of the house.

I arrived home by nightfall, worn out and irritated. If I had to watch Alice squeal over one more place setting I was going to kill myself. I realized that I should have just given her free reign to pick whatever she liked and let her do it herself. I mean, it wasn't as if I was going through with this ridiculous fiasco for my own benefit.

I was sitting in the car with Alice and she turned to me, "Thank you."

"For what?"

"For letting me do this for you. It means a lot to me that you let me drag you around to look at things you're obviously not interested in just to make me happy so that I can make a happy day for my brother."

I smiled at her, "I want to make everyone happy, I really do. Trust me, my aversion to weddings and all things associated with them doesn't have anything to do with my feelings for either of you."

"I know that, Bella. It would be selfish of me to think otherwise." She reached over to gently squeeze my hand, "Bella, you are a sister to me and I love you. I just want to see you be happy too."

"I am really easy to please; there are only a couple things I could ever need."

"Your immortality?"

I nodded, "That is definitely one of them, yes."

She cocked her head to the side and contemplated my reaction, "There's more, isn't there?"

I nodded, dreading bringing this one up. I sighed, "I want to see Jacob."

She tensed up for just a second and then she relaxed, "Yes, he told me that has been a constant argument with you two."

I groaned, "Yeah."

"He's just trying to look out for you."

"I know, but it's ridiculous really. Jacob would never hurt me; he must be able to read that in his thoughts." I looked at her, hopeful, "And you can't say that you can see him hurting me in my future? Right?"

She frowned, "You know I can't see the wolves, Bella."

My shoulders slumped, "Even so, isn't it my choice who I pick to be my friends?"

She crossed her arms over her chest and ran her hands through her hair, "I suppose so. I will have a talk with him."

I threw my arms around her tiny frame, "Thank you so much, Alice."

"I can't make any promises about how it will turn out, but I will try my best."

I smiled brightly at her, "I can't even begin to tell you how much that means to me."

She nodded, "Your werewolf really means a lot to you doesn't he?"

I nodded, "Yes, he does. He was the only one who kept me sane while you all were gone. I owe a lot to Jacob."

Alice nodded at me and I think she did understand. "Edward and I are like that too. He's my best friend and I wouldn't want to have to walk away from him, even for Jasper."

I had to practically hold my jaw shut to prevent it from dropping to the floor; I was totally dumbfounded that she got me. I hadn't given Alice enough credit at all.

She squeezed my hand before walking me into my house. "Charlie will be home any minute." She smiled, "And, don't worry, he's in a good mood."

I smiled, "Well, I guess prayers can be answered."

She smiled back at me, warmly, and gave me a quick hug before she went back to her car and drove off into the sunset.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

_Alice's P.O.V._

I pulled into the drive, worried about Edward's reaction. The scene had played out in my mind and I knew he was going to be angry, but I just couldn't gauge what his reaction was going to be. Would he come around and see things from my perspective? Or would he be furious with me for 'taking her side'?

I sighed and hopped out of the car, noiselessly closing the door behind me. I took the longest amount of time a vampire could ever take walking to the door. I hated the things I was going to have to say to my brother; it made me sick inside.

When I opened the front door I saw him sitting on the couch, drumming his fingers against his leg. He seemed extremely agitated and rather jumpy. He looked up into my face and bounced up from the couch. He was instantly by my side, without giving me a second to prepare myself. "I am going to see her now. I will be back in the early morning hours."

Before he could glide out the door, I grabbed his arm and spun him around to face me. "Please, Edward, I really need to talk to you about something."

He frowned, "I will talk to you when I get back in the morning. Right now it is imperative that I see Bella."

"Bella can wait for a couple of minutes, I assure you."

Edward practically growled at me, "Alice, I said that I will speak with you later. Bella cannot be left alone, not with Victoria out there hunting her and with those werewolves—"

I had to cut him off; I didn't want to hear about the horrors of the wolves. I didn't like them either, but I didn't go around complaining about them day in and day out. "Edward, you need to listen to me now."

He sighed and reluctantly pulled me into a private room, which really was stupid considering we both knew that every one of the vampires in the house could hear every word we said. His eyes were almost menacing when he turned to look at me then, "What is it Alice, what have you seen?"

I shook my head, "It isn't about that."

"Then what then? What could be so important to risk Bella's safety?"

I sighed, "Bella's upset."

"About?"

"You know what she's upset about. EVERYONE knows what Bella's upset about."

"You mean her immortality?" He scoffed, "We've already had this conversation a hundred times."

I shook my head, "No, not her immortality, the other thing."

The grim line disappeared and his mouth was practically a snarl, "Oh no, we're not talking about _him_!"

"Oh yes we are." I said, right back in his face.

"It is too dangerous. I cannot have her risk her life at the hands of those volatile beasts."

I raised my eyebrows at him, "Those volatile beasts kept her safe while you didn't." I knew the words would hurt him very deeply, but I needed him to listen to me. "And, quite frankly, she puts her life at risk every time she is around one of us, but you haven't seen her change her mind about us yet, have you?"

The pain was evident on his normally gentle face. The anguish made me wince and wish that I had not spoken at all. It killed me inside to say such horrible things to the brother that was so dear to my un-beating heart, but I didn't know what else to do. "Just listen to me, Edward. You are going to lose her."

A look of panic appeared on his face, "Why? What have you seen?"

I shook my head, "Nothing, I haven't seen anything, I just know what it feels like to be a girl in a relationship." I reached out to gently stroke his face, wanting so desperately to make him see how much happier he could be if he just heard me out. "Look, you know Bella better than anyone; you know she's stubborn. When she gets something in her head you can't change her mind, you know that. The more you try to keep her away from him, the more appealing he becomes. You are pushing her right into his awaiting arms."

He grimaced and looked away, pained by the thoughts that I was planting in his mind.

"She has had to give up a lot for you, Edward. She has chosen you and only you and has saved your ass on multiple different occasions. For as faithful as she has been, she is only asking for two favors and you refuse her both of them. Why can't you just give her this one thing to show her that you love and trust her enough to make the right decisions? Being in a relationship is about give and take. You can't always be the one doing the taking; sometimes you have to give a little bit." I put my hand on his chest, "Just promise me that you will give it some thought."

He glared at me, angry, "Why are you doing this to me, Alice? You're supposed to be my sister."

I wrapped my arms around myself, "I'm also supposed to be her friend. I just don't want to see her in pain anymore, Edward. You know she is going through with this wedding just to make you happy and yet you cannot even grant her a favor in return. It's a simple request; one that is easily answered."

He sighed, "I need to give this some thought."

I nodded, "And you should, I think it should be given a lot of thought."

He pushed past me then, "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a human mate to protect." With that he was gone.

If I could cry, I would have been in that moment. I hated hurting Edward, but I hated seeing Bella hurting as well.

I sunk down into a chair, my head in my hands. I didn't realize that Jasper had come up behind me until I felt strong arms wrap around my waist and pull me against a marble chest. The sobs that escaped were miserable, desperate and entirely helpless.

Jasper held me close, whispering sweet things in my ear, until I felt my body relax. I looked up at him then and smiled, "Thank you."

He ran his hand over my hair, "Anytime, my darling."

I bent my head up to kiss his lips and he pulled me tight against him. Our arms locked wildly around each other's bodies as we clung to each other with fervent passion. His tongue danced with mine and I felt tingles up and down my spine the way I always did when Jasper touched me. I just couldn't imagine a love any stronger than ours.

"Everything will be alright, you'll see." With that he scooped me up into his arms and carried me up to our bedroom.

_Bella's P.O.V._

I sat there for what seemed like hours, just waiting and waiting for Edward to show up. What was taking him so long? I couldn't help but wonder if Alice had gotten to him? What would she say to him exactly if she had? Would Edward be angry? I hated the thought of Edward getting angry, especially at Alice, but I also hated the thought of not getting to see my best friend again. I could still feel that shared pain that we both felt in the woods that day. I could still see the heartbroken expression on Jacob's face. The pain twisted like a knife in my stomach and I hated every second of it.

My eyes traveled as I remembered, until I found myself staring at the phone. Of course! I could just pick up the phone and call him; that would be simple, right? I knew it would be like defying Edward and I knew he would be angry with me, but I had to know that Jake was okay. I just had to hear his voice, just this one time.

My heart beat faster in my chest as I walked to the phone and picked it up. I sighed and took a few seconds before I dialed his familiar number. After two rings I heard his husky voice on the other end. "Hello, Black residence?"

"Jacob." I said; my voice barely above a whisper.

"Bella?"

"Yes, Jake it's me." It was so good to hear his voice on the other end that I beamed a gigantic grin from one ear to the other. "How have you been?"

"Alright I guess. How about you? I honestly didn't expect to hear from you."

"Yeah, I wasn't supposed to—"

"Ah." He said, "Charlie must still be pretty mad about the bike. Are you still grounded?"

I shook my head, "No, but he is still mad. But, Charlie isn't the one who won't let me see you."

I could hear the anger in the voice, "I knew it! That isn't even right, Bella. You shouldn't let that bloodsucker tell you what to do; he isn't your father you know!"

I sighed; I didn't want to fight with Jake about Edward's character. "I didn't call you to argue. I wanted to make sure that you were alright and apologize for the way things went down the last time I saw you. I felt really bad about hurting you. I really miss you, Jake."

"I really miss you too Bells." There was a long pause between his phrases, "I want to see you sometime. Can you visit?"

I sighed again, "I'm not really sure about that one, Jake. I'm trying, truly I am, I need you to know that."

"If you wanted to see me badly enough you would."

I didn't have a response for that one. I stood there thinking of what to say, so engrossed in my own thoughts that I didn't even feel the draft of wind behind me, until he was there.

"You couldn't even wait until I got here to put your life in danger." There was a menacing tone in his voice and it made me very wary. I dropped the phone to the floor and just stared at him. Neither of us made any noise at all; the only sound that could be heard in my kitchen was the sound of Jacob calling out my name from the dropped receiver.

"Edward, I—"

He put up his hand, "Don't bother, I get it. Alice told me all about how upset you are."

I swallowed, I did not like the way he was acting. The sound of the phone being off the hook brought me out of the trance I was quickly slipping into. I quickly stooped to pick it up and put it back on its cradle. "Please Edward; I just wanted to talk to him."

"I just got through having a very interesting conversation with Alice. It seems as though someone cannot keep our private issues private anymore."

"Alice is my friend."

He folded his arms across his chest, "I came here to keep you safe, Bella. There is a crazy vampire out there stalking you and there are all these werewolves in your life. I have my work cut out for me, you know."

I sighed, "The wolves don't kill people. They keep people safe from vampires."

"Right. They keep people safe from the very thing that you love and want to become."

"What is your point?"

"My point is that he won't be able to be your friend after you've been turned, so why waste your time worrying about him now?"

"What is your problem with him? I thought he was bad, but my God!"

"Look Bella, on my way here I realized that Alice was right, that maybe I should be the bigger man here and not let my prejudices get in the way of your happiness. I wanted to do that for you, Bella, because I love you. But, apparently you cannot be trusted as much as I thought you could be. You seem to enjoy going behind my back."

I raised my eyebrow at him, "Excuse me, Edward, but I was not in any danger of getting hurt over the telephone. He cannot wolf out through the phone lines and kill me, so what is the big deal?"

He didn't respond right away, he simply leaned up against the refrigerator, folding his arms, staring at me. "He's in love with you, Bella. He wants something from you that you are not at liberty to give him. How do you think it makes me feel when my fiancé cannot stop thinking about some other guy…a boy at that! A boy who happens to be a moody, volatile werewolf who could rip you apart just by getting angry. How do you think that makes me feel? Am I not enough for you, Bella?"

Whoa! Where was all of this coming from? I had never seen this side of Edward, not this strongly anyway, and I was completely floored. "Of course you are enough for me. You are my heart, my soul, my everything! But, that doesn't mean that I don't need other people in my life too!"

"Those people won't be in your life after you're changed."

I flinched; I didn't want to think about that, not then, "It doesn't have to be like that, I can make it work."

He was ready to say something snide when I heard a pounding at my door. "Open up, it's me!"

"Jake!" I ran toward the door to open it, but Edward beat me there, putting himself between me and the door.

"Edward stop, he isn't going to hurt me." I said.

"I will break this door down!" Jacob yelled, through the door.

Edward laughed, "Go ahead and try." Edward put his hand against the door and pushed with all his might, against the effort that Jake was putting on it from the other side. The door wavered a bit, but did not give on either end. They continued to push at it with all their strength until cracks became visible up and down the length of the door. I jumped back as I watched the door break into a thousand pieces on the floor between where the vampire and the werewolf stood.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

_Bella's P.O.V._

"Oh my God!" I yelled, "Charlie is going to kill me."

Edward made a face, "Don't be ridiculous, Bella, there's no way he could think that you could break a wooden door."

Jacob looked at me sheepishly, "I'll make you a new one."

Edward shook his head, "I can by a new one and be back here in twenty minutes. Charlie will never know the difference."

Jacob shook his head, "That's how it always is with you, isn't it? You come across a hurdle and you just buy your way out of it. Mr. Flashy strikes again."

"Jacob, stop! Don't provoke him."

"She's right, you shouldn't provoke me; you might get hurt."

Jacob raised his eyebrow and folded his arms over his chest, "I can take care of myself."

"Stop it, both of you!" For a few brief seconds I put myself between them and then Edward grabbed me and pulled me behind him and away from Jake.

"I hate it when you do that. How many times do I have to tell you that he isn't going to hurt me?"

Edward frowned, "Until it becomes true."

Jake opened up his hands and looked at the vampire, "You can read my thoughts. You tell me, what do you hear?"

Edward grimaced, "Such vile, disgusting thoughts."

Jacob smiled, "But not harmful, not to _her_ anyway."

I sighed, "Seriously, you two are like a couple of fourth graders on the playground. Both of you need to knock it off."

"Bella, I just came to make sure that nothing had happened to you. You stopped talking so suddenly." Jacob explained.

I smiled at him sympathetically, "Someone kind of snuck up behind me."

Jacob turned his attention to Edward, knowing full well who it was who had snuck up and scared her. "How dare you scare her like that?"

I put my hand out in Jacob's direction, "I'm fine Jake, it's alright."

"No, it isn't." Jacob took a step closer to me and I could feel Edward's body tensing up. "He shouldn't be allowed to have so much power over you, Bella, it isn't healthy."

Edward spoke then, "And you think your relationship with her is? You think it's healthy to follow another man's fiancé around like a lost little puppy _dog_? You think it's healthy to pine after someone who obviously doesn't reciprocate the feelings? To me that doesn't seem healthy."

"It is healthier than leaving someone in danger in order to protect them."

Edward was in his face in that instant, "I did not know she would be in danger! Never bring that up again or you will be very sorry!"

"Edward please, let me talk to him, alone."

Edward stiffened, "No, I cannot and will not allow it."

"She has made a perfectly reasonable request, your highness!"

Edward smacked Jacob with the back of his hand, "someone needs to let the dog out, now!"

I drew in my breath, lost in complete shock. "Edward Cullen, you let me see him this instant! Your behavior is out of control! Go in the other room, now!"

Edward raised his eyebrows at me, "Excuse me?"

"You heard me! You told me that you wouldn't leave me again unless I asked you to; well I am asking you now to leave. Give me a little bit of time alone with my friend and then come back when you've had a chance to cool off a little bit!"

He growled, glaring at both of us, and then retreated.

When Edward was gone Jacob scooped me into his arms and held me close to his heart. "I missed you so much, Bells."

"Me too." I reached my hand up to lightly touch where Edward had hit him; it was bloody and bruising. "I'm so sorry."

He shook his head, "It's nothing. I've been hit worse goofing around with the rest of the pack. It will heal within a couple hours."

"Still, he shouldn't have done that. I just don't know what has gotten into him lately."

He frowned, "I'm worried about you, Bella. With his temper you could get seriously hurt."

I softened, "Jake, I know he wouldn't hurt me, just like I know you wouldn't hurt me."

"Just promise me that you'll be careful." His eyes pleaded with me and a gentle smile broke out on my face.

"Of course."

"And if you need me you know where to find me."

I nodded at him, holding him close for a couple more seconds before pulling away. "I promise that I will make this all work. I want to keep you, Jake, I really do."

He squeezed my hand, comfortingly, protectively and I had to admit that it felt nice. It was nice to hold warm hands; warm hands that made me feel safe and special. He took a couple steps away from me, towards the busted door, and turned back to look at me. He gave me a sweet, encouraging smile and a part of my heart broke inside. I hated saying goodbye, especially without knowing how long it would be before I could see him again.

He walked silently out the doorframe and hopped into his rabbit, giving me one last glance before he drove away.

I sank into a chair, my head in my hands. So much had happened to me in one day; it was a lot to take in. I had so much to work out with Edward and I wasn't looking forward to dealing with that situation. I wanted some time to sort out what I should say to him, but he didn't award me that. Instead, he gave me about two minutes after Jake left, before he blasted into my doorway with a brand new door.

He smiled up at me and it happened again; I was dazzled. What was it about his smile? And those eyes….like liquid gold molten lava. They always made it difficult to breathe, and this time was no exception.

I sighed, "This doesn't make up for it all, you know."

He flew through the room and had the new door on and the old door cleaned up from the floor before I could look back at him. Vampire speed was something else entirely.

My eyes practically popped out of my head. It always took me by complete surprise when he did things at super speed. "Okay, superman, wow!"

He smiled that wicked, half smile at me and I melted into a pile of goo in my chair, "I kind of lost my head a bit."

"A bit?" I raised my eyebrow, "You smacked him."

He winced, "I'm sorry about that, I can only imagine how much it must have upset you."

I nodded, "Of course it did, but worse than that it surprised me. I always thought of you as such a calm and collected vampire. I mean, you somehow manage to keep yourself from draining and killing people, but yet you can't get along with Jacob for two seconds. I don't know what it is with you two."

"You don't like the horrible things he thinks about."

I raised my eyebrow, "I find it hard to believe that it could be that bad. But, even if it is, hitting him isn't the way to deal with it."

He put up his hand, "I know, I know. I'm sorry."

"You should apologize to him, not me."

Edward groaned, clearly he was against that idea, "That would not be my first choice."

I smiled at him, "Well, what would be?"

"I would rather take you out and buy you something nice." He flashed me another dazzling smile and I found myself almost agreeing to it.

I frowned (once I had collected my thoughts again), "Edward, you can't just buy me off with presents, it doesn't work that way."

"Oh please, it would give me great pleasure." He reached out to take my hand in his own, "Let me take you out to dinner and buy you whatever you like."

I rolled my eyes, "You don't even eat. How much fun would that be?"

"I'll force a couple bites down just for you. Anything to make you happy." He gave me that lopsided grin again and my heart raced in my chest. It was ridiculous to let a guy have this much power over you.

Despite myself I found myself smiling and giving in, "Okay, okay. You can buy me dinner, but only because I'm hungry."

He smiled again and leaned in to kiss me, making my head dizzy. He grabbed my arm and linked it through his own, leading me out of the house and over to his Volvo.

As I slid into the passenger seat I couldn't help but think about his words 'anything to make you happy.' If only he actually meant them….


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

_Jacob's P.O.V._

For two nights in a row I couldn't sleep. I couldn't stop thinking about Bella and the situation with that horrible bloodsucker. No matter how long I live I will NEVER understand what it is that she saw in him. Sure, he's attractive…if you like the pale skinned, sparkly type I guess. And, he certainly had money. Well, Carlisle had money and Edward used it to impress Bella.

In those last two days I hadn't wolfed out either. I just couldn't stand the thought of the other pack members reading my thoughts. I couldn't bear them hearing how I let Edward hit me and I didn't attack him back.

I just couldn't. I couldn't look at Bella's face and do something that I knew would hurt her like that. No matter how much I hated the bloodsucker, I loved her more.

"Hey Jake, wake up, you'll be late for school!" Billy yelled, rapping on the door.

I groaned, "I'm already awake and I'm not going to school."

"Yes you are!" Billy yelled, "Quit being so melodramatic and get your ass in gear."

Ugh. Billy…he just didn't understand. Well, I supposed he must understand what it was like to love someone who didn't return your feelings, but he wouldn't let me get away with wallowing either.

"Fine." I grumbled as I got out of bed and hopped into the shower.

School was a place I hadn't been to in a couple days (though I'd chosen to keep that information from Billy).

"Jake, old buddy, old pal!" Embry said, slapping me on the arm.

I groaned, "Hey Emb."

"So, I'm assuming that since you've been a hermit these last couple of days that you didn't hear the news?"

I scrunched up my forehead, "What news?"

"Quil has 'mono'."

I ran my fingers through my hair, "Poor Quil, it's starting now?"

Embry was grinning from ear to ear, "It won't be long now. Sam thinks he'll be inducted in by the weekend."

I wished I could be as happy about it as Embry was. We all knew that he would most likely go through the change too, but I had held out hope that the world would be kinder to him and therefore spare him this curse.

It's not that I hate being a werewolf, but I would much rather be human. It would be nice to only have to worry about building cars and riding motorcycles with Bella, rather than having to think about vampires and battles.

I made a mental note to stop by Quil's house after school and see for myself. "I'm glad that you're so happy about it."

He shrugged, "Why wouldn't I be? I can have my friend back, and so can you. We no longer have to distance ourselves. I think it's great."

"Yeah, I like being able to be open with him, but I hate that he has to go through this."

"Come on, it's not so bad." Embry made a sweeping motion with his hands, up and down his body, as if he was displaying the goods, "At least we're sexy now! Girls look at us in ways they never used to. I can really get into that, you know."

I rolled my eyes, "I'm so happy for you!" I smacked him out of the way, "I need to get to math."

School was uneventful; the same old, same old. I went to my boring classes and pretended to take notes about things I couldn't care less about and tried my damndest to stay awake during the lectures.

After school I went to Quil's to check him out and it was official; Quil was changing. It wouldn't be long and he would be in our pack, dealing with all the drama that we had to go through every day. Lucky him.

When I got home I got bold; I decided to call Bella. I couldn't stand not talking to her. For a good many months we hung out almost every day after school. But, since the leech was back I was lucky if I could remember what she looked like.

"Bella." I said into the phone, after she picked up.

"Jake." She sounded excited, but I was sure that Edward would put the kibosh on that as soon as he found out. "This is probably a bad idea."

"What happened after I left the other night?"

"Edward showed up with another door."

I sighed, "I suppose everything is cool between you two again?"

"Yeah, I mean I yelled at him for hitting you, but he seems to be remorseful about it. I told him he needed to apologize to you."

I snickered, "I'll try not to hold my breath on that one, Bella."

I didn't even need to see her face to know that she was frowning, "Jake, you know that isn't fair. Yes, he shouldn't have hit you, but you shouldn't provoke him with your thoughts either."

I sighed, "Oh, as if it's my fault that he can read minds? Trust me; it's bad enough having my pack members knowing what I'm thinking…but your bloodsucker…"

"I wish you wouldn't call him that."

I sighed again, closing my eyes in defeat, "Okay, fine, I'm sorry."

"I know Jake; I know this isn't easy on you."

"I just want to see you again."

"I know." There was a dramatic pause and then she continued, "I will talk to him about it again and see what I can work out."

I had to hold myself back from punching something; it just pissed me off to no end that she had to ask his permission to do what she wanted to. It was just plain sick. "Bella, it should be your decision to make."

"Yeah, I know—oh crap!"

I grew immediately concerned at the frantic quality of her voice, "What's wrong?"

"I've gotta go." She didn't even say goodbye, she just slammed the phone down and I was left confused and rejected.

"Fucking vampires! I fucking hate the sons of bitches!" I yelled as I threw the phone against the wall in defeat.

_Bella's P.O.V._

I turned around, nervously, "Edward."

He practically snarled at me, "Not this again."

I put my hands up in surrender, "He called me, I was just being nice."

He folded his arms over his chest and glared at me, "There is a certain level of niceness that should never be crossed."

I made a face, "Oh Edward, calm down. We were just talking."

He closed his eyes and pinched his temple between his thumb and pointer finger. "I'm trying here, Bella, I really am, but I'm finding it very difficult. You don't seem to appreciate my feelings on the subject as much as I appreciate yours."

I snickered at him then, "Sure, sure. Not letting me see my best friend and then hitting him the one time I got to see him really shows your appreciation of my feelings."

He groaned, "I have already admitted that my hitting him was in bad form. It was a weak moment, but I have to do everything in my power to keep you safe."

Not this again. "Edward, he is my friend and I have the right to see him if I want to!"

His nostrils flared, "Bella, you are my fiancé! Don't you find it necessary for me to have at least a little control over who you see, especially when that person is also vying for your affections?"

"For some dumb reason you fail to grasp the concept that I only want you."

He moved toward me, gently pulling my body against his, "Bella, love, you are my everything and I am just so afraid of losing you."

Tears stung my eyes. I hadn't realized that he was feeling this way. How completely insensitive of me. I wrapped my arms around his neck and buried my face against his shoulder, "You could never lose me. I made my choice a long time ago. I will always need you to survive; I cannot live without you." Suddenly my desire to see Jacob faded into the background. I knew that as long as I had Edward I would be alright. Nothing could be as bad as that emptiness I had felt when he was gone.

I was ready to surrender; to give up Jake, but then a vision of his face popped into my head. All I could see was the pain that had been so evident on his face that time in the woods. I was so undeserving of that kind of pain and yet he felt it anyway. His heart had broken that day and I had wanted nothing more than to put it back together again…the way he had done for me after Edward had left me broken and alone.

I looked up at Edward and I desperately wanted him to be enough. I needed him to be enough. I didn't want to bring Jacob into this sordid love story any longer and get his hopes up anymore than they already were, just to break his heart for the millionth time. I was bad for him; he deserved so much better than me.

But yet there was a part of me that just couldn't let him go. I knew it was selfish to want two guys the way I did. Sure, the love I felt inside was different for each of them, but it was there regardless. Jake had put the pieces of my life back together; he had been my safe harbor, my own personal sun. How does a person live without their sun? And Edward…he was my life. He was forever etched into my soul; his name carved into my heart.

I was confused; stuck between a rock and a hard place. I needed both of them. Well, maybe I didn't need Jacob to survive, but I wanted him. I wanted him deeply. I needed Edward to survive, but I wanted Jacob…

I looked up at Edward's beautiful, perfect face and my heart did flip-flops. But, next to him, in my mind, was a picture of my Jacob, happy and smiling. As beautiful and glorious as Edward was there was truly nothing in the entire world more beautiful than Jacob's smiling face.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

_Bella's P.O.V._

I awoke the next morning feeling a little bit better. The sun was out and it was almost warm outside; it was the best weather I could hope for in Forks, Washington. I hopped out of bed and walked over to the window, taking in the fantastic weather. Nothing cheered me up better than the sun. I never stopped to think how funny that sounded from someone who longed to become a vampire.

I showered and dressed quickly, anxious to get outside. I knew that I wanted to make the most of the weather, but I didn't know what I was going to do, considering Edward was probably hibernating at home; he wouldn't come out in this sunshine. He was dazzling in the sun, radiating, but I hardly ever got to witness it; it was such a depressing thought. I didn't want to be depressed on the one day of good weather that I would most likely see, so I began to think up a new plan. What if I drove to La Push to visit Jacob? Okay, so I knew a fight would ensue at the prospect. More than likely one had already begun to erupt when Alice saw what I had planned. Of course Alice, the loyal sister, would tell Edward about her dastardly plan to go behind his back and visit her friend-the werewolf.

I thought about it long and hard before proceeding back into my house and heading straight to my telephone. I picked up the receiver and dialed Jacob's number that had been etched into my brain.

"Hello?" A familiar voice asked into the phone.

"You really need to get caller I.D." I told him, being a smart ass.

"Bella? I certainly didn't expect to hear from you."

I smiled, "Yeah well, the sun is shining, so you know what that means?"

"Edward's not breathing down your neck." He finished for me. Those weren't the exact words I would have chosen but Jacob always did have a special flare for language; especially where Edward was concerned.

"You could put it that way, I suppose." I smiled, despite myself, "Look, I was wondering if I could come over?"

"Of course, but won't your bloodsuckers know that it's going to happen and find a way to stop you?" Jacob always had such a positive outlook on the Cullen family.

I sighed, "Jake, I don't know, but I'm tired of being tossed around like some new toy that you both want to play with."

"Well, why don't you let me come pick you up? That way we stand a better chance of you making it to my house without being stopped." He suggested.

The fact was that Jacob's theory made absolutely no sense, but I wasn't going to bring that fact up. Unfortunately, neither of us knew how things were going to turn out. I had to admit that future-seeing would be a nice power to possess, but I was confident that I was not cool enough to gain that after being changed.

"Sure. I'm ready whenever you are." I told him, finding a smile forming on my face. I was excited; truly, genuinely excited. I couldn't wait to get to spend time with my best friend. I didn't even care if I spent the entire time watching him fix a car, like I used to. It made no difference to me at all what kinds of things we did together, just as long as we got to hang out together.

Jacob's P.O.V.

I was so excited that I couldn't see straight. To think that Bella had called me and set up a date to hang out at my house was just about the most exciting thing I could have ever imagined. I didn't know what we were going to do and I didn't care. We could take a walk, watch a movie or hang out in the garage. The possibilities were endless. The only thing I knew for certain was that I didn't want to do anything to mess up my day with her. I had to show her how great things could be if we were together; I needed her to see what she was giving up.

So, I set out to be extra charming. I put on the nicest jeans and t-shirt combination that I owned and even dabbed a bit of cologne behind my ears. More than likely she wouldn't smell it anyway, but on the off chance that she got close enough to my ears to smell them, I wanted them to smell hot. I ran a bit of gel into my hair, taking steps that I never took, in order to look extra nice for her. I wanted her to find me irresistible. I knew it was pointless to behave like this, but I was a teenage guy and teenage guys always did stupid things to impress the girls they liked.

After I slipped into my shoes I headed out to the kitchen. I frowned when I saw the mess there. We hadn't had anyone over for a little while and the house wasn't exactly in the cleanest of shapes. I did the best I could, as fast as I could, to clean up a few things in the main rooms of the house. I didn't want Bella to have anything to find fault with me on; more than usual anyway.

I smiled when the house was up to par and grabbed my keys, getting ready to head out. Billy was out so I knew I wouldn't have to deal with him giving me goofy smiles the entire time Bella was over. He was good for a few things and embarrassing me was one of them.

While I drove to Bella's house I thought about how irritated Edward made me. I knew that wasn't exactly the best thing to think about on my way to visit his fiancé, but I had to keep my motivation to charm her. I needed her to see that things with me could be so much better than with him. I needed her to understand what I had to offer her.

There seemed to be only one logical reason to me why the vampire would really try to keep her away from me; I intimidated him. He saw me as a viable threat to take the woman he loves away from him; that had to be it. It's not that I wouldn't love to do just that, but it was more than that really. I genuinely just wanted to be a part of Bella's life, whatever that meant. I didn't need her to officially choose me over him in order to be happy, though I would thoroughly love it if she did.

When I arrived at her house, I beeped the horn, letting her know I was there. I supposed that it wasn't the grand, romantic gesture that Edward would have given to announce his presence, but I didn't really care. I was different from Edward and I always would be. She didn't seem to mind very much as she came bouncing out of her house.

She looked radiant. Her skin was glowing, her hair was shining and her eyes were twinkling. I hadn't seen her look this happy in a long, long time. Obviously having Edward back in her life was doing wonders for her. The thought made me a bit sick inside as I realized the implications of this fact; she was never going to be with me. She would always love him more than she loved me. I had to force a fake smile onto my face as she hopped into the passenger side of the rabbit.

"Hey Jake." She said, with a smile.

"Bella. You look nice today." Alright, starting out being smooth….good going, Jake! I smiled at her, "Not that you don't always look nice."

She actually blushed; I just couldn't believe my good fortune. "Thanks Jake, you look real nice today too."

I smiled to myself as I reached my arm around the back of her seat and pulled the rabbit out of her driveway and onto the road. This was going to be a great day, I could feel it!

Bella's P.O.V.

There was something different about him; I just couldn't put my finger on it. Maybe it was the goofy grin on his face, or the gel in his hair, or maybe it was something else. He just seemed to have a different air about himself. I had to admit that I liked the change, whatever it was.

He had started right off with a compliment to my appearance, which I found entirely false, but totally appreciative of. When I returned the compliment I was being completely honest; he did look nice, really nice in fact. After all, he was kind of beautiful, I had told him that myself.

"So what are we going to do today?" I asked him, curiously.

"Anything that you want." He told me with a smile.

I sighed, "Honestly, the thing I would love to do the most is go for a swim."

He raised his eyebrow at me, "You want to go for a swim? With me?"

I almost choked, I hadn't meant that exactly, but it did have kind of an exciting connotation to it. "Well, it's just that it's such a nice day and we don't get very many of them around here, unfortunately."

"Yeah. It is unfortunate." He smiled at me crookedly. I knew exactly why he wished that there were many sunnier, more beautiful days-because the vampires would stay in more often. He got back on topic quickly, "We could go swimming if you want, but you don't have a bathing suit with you."

I couldn't help myself, I blushed again. "Couldn't I just wear something of yours?"

He smiled, "Sure. I could give you a long shirt to wear or something, if you're serious about this."

I nodded, "Yeah, I think it would be fun. Maybe we could go for a walk too."

"Sure. Whatever you want to do is fine by me." He said, overly enthusiastic.

I cocked my head to the side. Was there some reason that I shouldn't want to go swimming with him? "Is there a reason why you're smiling like that?"

He sobered up quickly, "Like what?"

"Like you know something that I don't? Is there some reason why this was a bad idea?" I asked him, totally out of the loop.

"Nah, I wasn't smiling like that at all. I was just smiling because I'm so happy to be getting a chance to hang out with you." Boy, he was sure acting quite smooth; I had to give him that.

Jacob's P.O.V.

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. She wanted to go swimming with me. She wanted to strip down to little clothing and get soaking wet, with me, alone. There was just no way I was going to be able to hide my interest in her body, seeing her like that, there was absolutely no way.

We went on an hour walk, talking about everything from Edward to school. I hated talking about Edward but I tried to remain neutral and let her know that she could talk to me about anything. I needed her to feel close to me. As we were walking she reached over to take my hand in her own, the way we used to before he came back. Having her like this, it was more than I could ever have asked for. I just wished I could have this every day.

We hiked back to my house, where we could get a couple cold drinks and change into our swim wear. I couldn't stand the excitement of the whole thing; it was making me crazy. I changed very quickly into my swim trunks, begging Jake Jr. to relax during this whole adventure we were about to go on. I grabbed her one of my long t-shirts that she could wear into the water and tossed it to her as I walked out of my room.

While she went to the bathroom to change I found us a couple of towels that we could use to dry off. When she came out I was disappointed to see that she had put her jeans back on underneath my t-shirt. My shirt looked like a nightshirt on her, it was huge. I couldn't deny the fact that I really enjoyed seeing her in my clothing, though.

We got into the car and I drove us to the creek that we were going to swim in. Due to how accident prone she was I wasn't going to take any chances putting her into any larger bodies of water. We pulled up and I hopped out of the car, dropping the blankets on the grass beside the water.

I reached my left foot into the water and smiled, "It's warm, Bella. Let's get in."

She smiled back at me, nervously. It was almost as if she was having second thoughts about something that had been her idea in the first place. I raised my eyebrow at her, "Everything alright?"

"Could you turn around?" She asked me.

I smiled, "Sure." I did as I had promised. I got into the water and turned around so that I couldn't see her stripping out of her jeans. I really, really wished I was watching her though.

I heard the water splashing behind me and knew that she was in and that It was safe to look. What I saw made me shake my head to see if I was delirious. She was basically sitting in the water with it up to her mid-chest area. What really got my attention was the fact that she hadn't just removed her jeans, but also my shirt. She was sitting there in just her bra and underwear. I gulped, "What about the shirt?"

She blushed, "I decided that it would be a pain in the ass to swim in." She told me, seriously.

I think she was trying to give me a heart attack; my heart was racing, my palms were sweating and Jake Jr. was stirring. My words betrayed me, "Are you trying to kill me?" I hadn't meant to say that and felt instantly stupid as soon as I had.

Her eyes grew really wide and blood rushed to her cheeks. I had never seen her blush harder in her entire life, which was definitely saying something. "No, I—" She seemed at a loss for words. "Why, why exactly did you ask me that?"

I smiled, feeling a blush in my cheeks as well, "You just look so, so…" My voice caught in my throat, which was probably a good thing. The words that I wanted to say were better off being stuck in my throat than out in the open.

She actually moved closer to me. I don't know why she did that, it was as if she wanted to torture me. "So what, Jake?"

I groaned inwardly. The look on her face, mixed with the way she was dressed was just too much for me. Sad, lonely, horny teenage boys can't handle themselves in situations like this. I did the only thing I could do; I got to my feet and backed up, away from her.

I think my movements led her on to my condition because her eyes shifted down farther and farther until they stopped and she stared right at my tenting shorts. "Wow, Jake, I—" It appeared as if she actually licked her lips, which I couldn't help staring at the entire time she was staring at me. Those lips; oh how I wanted them kissing me, trailing my body and wrapping around my….oh dear God! I was in a deep cesspool of trouble. I had wanted her before we stepped into that water, but by this point I was reduced to a drooling, whimpering fool. I thought I was going to explode in my shorts, but I fought really hard to prevent that complete embarrassment.

I had been so wrapped up in the blood rushing to various body parts that I neglected to notice the way she was looking at me. It was as if she was looking right through me. What the hell? "Oh my God, Jake." She said, "You're huge."

I was fairly certain that she had no clue what the hell she was saying. I tried to take that into account as I willed myself to stay where I was and resist the urge to go to her and wrap my body against hers. I swallowed the lump in my throat and fought so hard to keep control. I was so good; so insanely good, fighting against the desires coursing through my veins. The only thing that worked against me was my erection. I couldn't get it to go away and unfortunately I couldn't prevent it all from being too much. There was too much sensation there; the tight constriction of the swim trunks, the eyes boring into me. I couldn't help myself, I totally lost it. I let out a groan of pleasure as I felt myself erupt right there, in the water, in my swim trunks, in front of Bella.


End file.
